It's a Wonderful Life

     Last night Rob & I went to the Ward Christmas Party.  I can't describe the amount of work that went into this production.  It was decked out in full Christmas vintage splendor.  Tree's with tinsel and beautiful old fashion Christmas decor.  The tables were dressed in China and old records played.  It reminded me of Grandma Johnson so much.
     Every year we'd have a Christmas party hosted at my mother's mother's home.  Every year my cousins and I would perform in the family talent show, we'd have a big dinner, and finish the night off singing Christmas carols as Grandma played the piano.  Grandma's Christmas bashes define my childhood Christmas memories.  Those tinsel Christmas trees through me through a full bout of nostalgia.
     As we sat down for dinner, It's a Wonderful Life was performed by some extremely talented actors and actresses in our ward.  Again, another deep nostalgic memory floated to the surface & did me in.  Aside from Home Alone and A Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life was always our favorite--probably because we could catch Daddy shedding some tears by the end.
    Tonight I was the tearful one.  In reflection of my own year since last Christmas, I found myself leading a parallel life with George Bailey.  Here I realized that I have been looking at my life under a marine layer haze; hardly acknowledging the greats and feeling sorry for myself.  Awful-- I know.
     Finishing college & leaving Hawaii brought new stresses and confusion than I've ever experienced.  I can't count how many job applications we sent out when we first moved back to Southern California.  Nothing bit.  Meanwhile, we had huge bills being sent to us from our first Halloween together when Rob experienced spending the night in the ER with Meningitis.  We literally ate up our small savings for a few months until we were able to find jobs; jobs that never required our college degrees.  Graciously, the Harmon's let us stay with them through our struggles to paying off our medical debts and scrimp to save.
     As the storyline unfolds, there is this all to familiar underlying theme that life doesn't workout the way its planned to be.  There's trials and sacrifices to be made.  This common theme has been troubling me all year!  In the back of my mind, our situation really bothered me.
     Feeling sorry for yourself never ends well and in the play, for dramatic emphasis, George contemplates jumping off a bridge.  His guardian angel stops him and tries to reason with him.  George wishes he had never been born and for a few brief hours, his wish is granted.  He is able to see the great impact he had on others and realizes how much he loves his deemed "failure" life.  As he comes home and is greeted by his family, friends and neighbors, he is ever so grateful for his life.
     A rush of gratitude for life is restored.  It's such a feel good story.  A flood of happy beautiful memories filled my mind of with friends and family who love us and supported us throughout the year.  So much was learned and accomplished.  Truly, "No man is a failure who has friends." -Clarence (the Angel)
     From the bottom of my heart thank you.

Dinner With a Godess

I'm back in Santa Barbara with family and friends.  The old familiar places, smells, and friendships exhilarate me.  I find myself rushing to my best friend's house with my in laws and another seasoned couple.  We are late for a dinner appointment invited by my best friends parents.  Unfortunately Sophie couldn't make it in town for the weekend.  It wasn't the same being in the kitchen and sitting by the fire without her.  I even pet her dog who has gotten chunky and old over the years out of old time sentiments.  We arrived to find a mad french woman in the kitchen pivoting back and forth between one project to the other.  This is Sophie's mom.  She is one of my favorite people in the world.  She is class.  She is the epitome of grace and talent.  Right now she is in her element.  Food is french and we are in the kitchen.  She is determined and looks like she has been put on fast forward; chopping mixing tasting.  She's telling Claire what to do and when to do it.  Claire silently fulfills the tasks.  She's not more than 13.  She's a Kitchen Goddess in the making.
  The immaculate meal is being prepared and as we file into the kitchen we are put to work obeying each direction.  Instantly we feel as if we are completely useless in the kitchen when we see what Katrina is doing.  Working in the gorgeous kitchen with each ingredient  at our fingertips we almost feel as if we have died and gone to chef heaven.  Each ingredient is organic, and perfect.  Newlywed budget never could live up to such a meal.  The appetizer was hardened crispy bread, garlic rubbed, goat cheese, and a spicy kalamata olive spread.  Barbecued chicken with garlic and parsley sauce.  Mashed crispy potatoes.  Ratatouille.  Dessert; creme and figs with fig red wine sauce.
     The host rang a bell to bring everyone to the table.  Dinner was served by candle light.  Politics and recent books were discussed.  Tales of great adventures and deep faith.
     The party resumed as the guests all moved to the next room.  The fire burned, the couches were comfortable.  Plans for the future and stories of old were told.  It felt good to be back in the residence I spent so many fond memories in.  Their home was a place of acceptance and love for me at a time in my adolescence when my parents and I couldn't seem to accept each others points of views.  They adopted me into their home and probably were doing my parents a favor.  I looked up to them then and now I do more than ever before.  They have charted out their lives already.  From what I can tell from tonight, they are so successful.  They have kept friends and family close.  Leisure activities and the pleasures of life continue in abundance.  I see Katrina in the kitchen.  She is enjoying herself.  She is such a godess.  Everything is perfect.  Each taste, and gesture overflowing with hospitality.  She is interesting and funny.  She is insightful and serious.  She is passionate and animated.
     Sophie's parents are fascinating beautiful people who live the dream.  They work hard and play hard.  They are people who understand how to enjoy life and live in good company.  Their hearts are set upon things and people beyond themselves.  They have great faith and love. Robbie, you were very much missed.

+ MANTRA lululemon's manifesto

This is the lululemon athletica mantra.  How fun is this?  Every time I go in the store, all the girls that work there are so fun, happy & positive.  I can't wait to start working.  It's been too long!

IRONMAN ROBBIE

REWIND my life a year ago.  Rob & I were sitting in his old beach shack bachelor pad.  The one across from the Laie Chevron Station.  We were engaged with high hopes for the future.  That's what being engaged is like.  Everything in your future is positive.  There is no anticipation for the negative.  It's called hope and if you live off of that kind of energy...the kind of energy that little in love people radiate, the idea that "anything is possible/ all you need is love" and maybe a little support we'd probably be accomplishing much in our lifetimes.  Believing in each other and all that jazz is so sweet.  Thats what we were doing when we decided that Rob would do the St. George Ironman.  No gear, no training, no intent to do any other triathlon besides this one.  It sounded like a good idea.  $600.00 we had it.  We spent it.  He was signed up.  He'd be an Ironman in a year wether he liked it or not.

It was from this crazy day that we began our journey of finding out what this truly meant.  We set ourselves up to be creative, daring, and to think outside of the box...but in that crazy moment we had no fear of being wrong and we had to justify this or maybe just I had to justify this until race day.

Friends & family called us crazy.  Some even jokingly told us that we'd get in a divorce because of it being our first year of marriage with the added training regimen and stress etc.  When we went to get Rob running shoes, the local running shop owner counseled me to be patient, supportive, & understanding because this type of training was going to take up so much time.

Well, after I came back from summer, my last semester that was supposed to be "less work than the last semester" had me overwhelmed.  I began to have high anxiety and a racing heart.  All the hype of being newly married, on our own, finishing college, and the anticipation of the ironman was killing me.  Everything that was happening in my life was a whirlwind of opportunity, growth, and a sense of moving forward.  It was all positive, yet it was all so much.

Rob was doing his best to read up on his nutrition, go on runs with the cross country team every so often, and surf his brains out (in the attempt to train for the swim).  Was it all enough?  Would he be able to do it without any injuries?  Would buying all the gear and the admission fee, and all the time spent worth it?  We both lost sleep over this wether we admitted it to each other or not.

Halloween night of last year, Rob got so sick.  He had meningitis.  It had been a mini epidemic in Laie.  He spent the night in the ER & had a spinal tap.  It was a slow recovery and training was out of the question.  Slowly he recovered and started to train again over Christmas break when a knee injury started up.  Therapy, physical training; that was the end of it.  I was honestly a little relieved.  There was this horrible fear of Rob pushing himself through an injury in the race and injuring himself for life.  That was so not worth it to me.  I was sure he'd cut his losses.

A week before the race, Rob all of a sudden was talking about the Ironman again.  "...Okay," I thought to myself.  I remembered that chat I had with the running shop owner.  "I'm going to be supportive.  I'm not going to be the one to say no.  I'll let that be Rob's decision"

So I met Robbie in St. George with the faith as big as a freckle.  I didn't know what to expect knowing that he had an injured knee and figuring that he didn't have much endurance because after all, he had never swam, biked, or ran any of the race distances before the event.  How could he possibly do each event one after the other?  I guess he was giving it a fair try.  He could pull out whenever--there was no shame in doing a little bit of the race.  He was injured for crying out loud.

Well.  As you all know, he didn't pull out.  He finished the race!  His knee was warmed up from the combination of the swim bike and the St. George heat.  He felt no pain in his injured knee.  I was shocked at how well he did and how he wasn't dying the next day.  My husband is fit.  Thats all there is to it.  He's a dreamer, a goal setter, and a fighter.  I am so grateful for such a tenacious spouse.  I'm in for a wild ride and a creative life.  One who inspires me not to fear that I may be wrong.

SLC

LIFE OH LIFE.  IT IS GOOD TO BE ALIVE.- KPH

I've been thinking of making the voyage to Salt Lake for a while.  The last time I was here, it was a hectic weekend saying goodbye before I put in my time at the MTC & ultimately in Russia.  Can I just tell you how beyond beautiful it is here?  There is still gorgeous white snow on the mountains and even still, the weather was warm enough.
Why did I go to SLC?  That is a great question.  Russia calls to me.  Ever since I left, I have dreamed of going back.  I don't even understand this obsession I have to it's fullest extent but it calls me.  If I think about it too much I could even become tearful over it.  What does this have to do with SLC?  It's my ticket to Moscow, St. Petersburg, Samara, Saratov, Izhevsk & Penza.  I went through the interview process to become a SkyWest Flight Attendant.  Who knows what will come of it.  Either way it was a good experience.  I will be hearing back in a week.  Cross your fingers & pray I get based somewhere awesome!
My trip was glorious.  I somehow managed to finally see my mission president and his wife!  I've missed them so much.  The experiences we were able to share as a mission are paramount and continually bless my life.  Most of this great experience is due to their leadership.  Not a day goes by that I am not affected by my mission.  I constantly think about it.
Being back I was able to see others who served with me.  I was astounded by how long it had been since we had seen each other, yet how much we were the same and to hear what everyone does to keep their language up.  I found that we do some of the same things.  I talk to myself in the car and I was surprised to hear that others do as well.
The reason why my visit with the Bennetts was so special was because of what I gained from it.  We went back together sharing insights into what we were going through at the time.
Bearing my testimony on Sunday put me over the edge for this trip.  I was filled with love and gratitude ... it was overwelming.  I was able to walk to the temple and sit in the visitors center...chitchat with the temple square sisters and bathe in the beautiful LDS culture.  I felt a sense of home and warmth... there was so much peace in that holy place.  It was palpable.
I guess something you might be able to say for any returned missionary...their mission is their mecca.  It is a place that is symbolic and a holy ground for them personally because the streets of their areas are paved with their hard earned testimony.  The refiners fire takes place in every apartment building that they knocked.  It's where you brutally learn the simple pleasures and comfort you once enjoyed in your cushy home. You discover how you can live and what you can actually get by on... how many steps you can walk in a day, how many times you can be rejected and told no before you want to crawl into a fetal position and guess what... each day you are stronger and stronger and more and more in tune with what the Lord's wants and wishes are rather than going by what you know.
How eternally grateful I am for my life, all of it's experiences and the people I have met on the way.  That's what it's all about!

An Easter in Santa Barbara

It felt so wonderful to spend time with my beloveds in Santa Barbara.  Lindsey was in transition from school to going on her study abroad in London through a satellite BYU campus program.  She has created a new blog in its honor.  http://lindseyjae.blogspot.com  I can't wait to hear about all the royal wedding pizazz.
Mom & Dad are doing great.  Dad has been getting really healthy so he thought he'd celebrate Easter by getting a huge bag of See's candy.  It was a divine gathering.  Of course, Mom made the best food ever.  Artichokes, Red Potatoes, Delicious Salad, Tri tip, and Strawberry Shortcake.  It was a feast to remember.
It was fun to hang out with Jessy and Shaun and the babies.  Those kids are a crack up.  We got some great video footage of Robbie teaching Mason some yoga and Trevor running by Mason and conveniently pushing him over any time it was ... well convenient.  And my favorite shot is of Mason struggling to run in a straight line after being twirled around in circles.  What a tough kid!
Mak's coming in on her own lately as she has really grasped the fashion world and has entered the teen lifestyle... she's at the point of rapid grow up right now.  The catalyst was church dances.  She's history.  She'd rather go to the dance than decorate eggs with the family.  Understood.  Just didn't realize how lil Mak got all grown up on me.
Robbie and I had a wonderful time.  It was non stop.  Rob and Dad met up with Kevin and Matt.  They went for a Stand Up Paddle at Serena.  After that we went on a hike with Dad and Mak and it was my first time actually seeing Tangerine Falls.
Easter meant a lot to me.  Mostly because I could mingle it up and be with my family.  It's almost uncanny when you get together and you realize how much you are alike them when your whole life you tried to break free from the nest.  I love you nest!
As it was Easter... I was able to reflect during sacrament meeting on what the celebration really was all about. I though of the talk that I love by Elder Holland and Bruce R. McConkie's last testimonies.  I think they nail the Easter message.

Rollerblades & Ski Poles

Rob & I were dying when we saw this guy on the 101 on our way home from Church.  This guy was weaving in and out of runners and bikers.  He looked ridiculous.  We had to turn around and film him.  We almost couldn't catch him.  He was making time.

GRADUATE GOING QUACKY

As I sat at a Psychology luncheon all dressed up and ready to graduate the next day, each of us graduating members were expected to "by tradition" stand up and explain what our future plans were.  I wondered if it was a ploy to let the Professors congratulate themselves on what a wonderful job they had done in mentoring such brilliant students.  Psychology is obviously a non-finishing BA degree.  If you aren't mastering or specializing or interning... you are basically as good as have majoring in a University Studies degree.  No offense to US degrees.

The pressure was on as brainiacs of our graduating class were standing to name off their future plans... one was even set up to work with Cambridge a professor because the professor was so impressed with the student's Senior Project.  I thought just the act of graduating was an accomplishment.
As I stood there thinking of what I'd say, I became very aware that I dreaded the thought of getting my Masters.  It's expensive, it's a ton of work and when I researched programs, I couldn't find any to my liking and then actually becoming a Psychologist...  Working with people and listening to their problems and trying to get them to change sounded wearing and sometimes unproductive.
Everyone knows the quote by Elder Packer, "the study of the doctrines will improve behavior quicker than the study of behavior will improve behavior."  Beating the story, the feelings, and the details to a pulp to get to the bottom of the underlining problem is exhausting!  The more I studied about Western thought or psychology, the more I realized that becoming a counselor was not really for me.  I admire them, love that they exist, and don't want to be one.

My degree brought me something unexpected.  It wasn't the certainty of what is but rather a skepticism and a critical nature.  More of a mistrust in the mainstream world.  Using a more positive word, we would call it greater awareness.  Most of the awareness is drawn by a type of research that was required of me in assignments.
Since I have graduated, that has meant something to me.  I feel ready to take on the world and be picky with the information it gives me.  Given the tool of research and identifying reliable scientific sources I've felt confident in my own research.  Lately, like I have mentioned, I am falling in love with Yoga.  Eastern thought focuses on the act of letting go instead of fighting the matter to an analyzed death.
With yoga, I am able to continue the research I started for my senior project and focus on its effects for me.
Tonight as Robbie, Doug and I were nurturing our injuries with a chiropractic percussor and a chiropractic table, it all made so much sense to me.  Doug was showing us our ligaments and tendons that were ailing us in an anatomy book.  Rob was showing me stretches that the physical trainer wants him to do for his injured knee.  Most of them were variations of yogic postures but I honestly don't know how anyone is expected to do their stretching postures for homework if they aren't walked through some key steps first.
There is a method to the sequence of yoga.  You start in a certain position and breath a certain way in order to warm up your body.  You strike your pose and as you stretch, you breath into it.  You lengthen as you inhale and stretch or twist as you exhale.  After each pose you counter it in order to balance your muscles in the body.
I really like this holistic stuff.  No, I'm not going quacky on you but it all just makes so much sense to me. Listening to your body, cleansing it, stretching, meditating, being aware, and mindful makes so much healthy sense.  Its all about being aware of your body and its upkeep and really living... as opposed to medicating a half dead body to let it live half dead for the next 20+ years.
So recap.  What did my degree do for me?  It helped me discover the basics.  Going with your instinct and intuition about health and anatomy.  It gave me the gift of being confident in my own personal research.

We live in a society of marketers spewing crap in order to gain.  My favorite thing lately is to analyze the health products that are out there.  What they claim and what their selling points are.  It's all marketing.  Robbie and I were in Costco finding all sorts of stuff in the vitamin isle.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm a believer in Western medicine--it's what saved my husband this last winter from Meningitis.  It's more of the mentality that bothers me.  Costco had a pill for everything!

Anyway lately I am doing Yoga classes once or twice a day.  I feel incredible.  Do your own research and get back to me.
AND P.S. Back to my luncheon, I was honest, I said I was going back to California with my husband and finding a job.  And Dr. Kinghorn chimed in (my mentor in meditation and stress management) and she'll become a Yoga instructor.  I laughed and thought sure...that'd be fun and well... it is :)

YOGA IS GOOD FOR YOU

Recently I've been enveloped in corepower yoga training to become a yoga teacher.  I've been really enjoying myself.  Oddly enough, I consider it an extension of my Psychology degree.  The science of the healing and preventative effects are continually manifesting themselves.  I have much more studying and training to finish but I'm not going to lie, sign me up on the Yogi for Life List.  To be continued I'm sure.

SECRETS ARE NO FUN.

I HAVE A SECRET--Happy Valentine's Day Rob...I'm not sick at home in bed like you think I am... I'm at Trader Joe's finding us some grub.  yessssssssssssssssssss.

PUSH-UPS

PUSH-UPS
I had the lucky chance to take my Mom's private personal training class with Christina Norris.  I did 10 different types of push-ups I didn't even know this many existed.

1.  Regular Boys Push-Ups
Easy.  Stick your butt in, tighten your abs, toes are on the ground knees are together not touching the floor. Exhale on the way down.  Inhale on the way up.  Everyone knows how this is done.
2.  Diamond Push-Ups
Same position except, your hands make a diamond shape and they are centered under your chest.  This kills your tris and chest.
3.  Bridge Push-Ups
These are the "you've got to be kidding me" push ups.  Place your hands outstretched infront of you.  Pretend you are superman.  You lift one leg.  This leg is lifted so that your big toe is about an inch above your other heel.  You swing your body forward pretending you are flying under a bridge.  Your chest is stretched outward and then you pretend to go backwards under the bridge.  You change to the other leg for reps on the other side of course.

4.  Lopsided Push-Ups
One arm is completely stretched forward while the other arm is positioned right at your side.  Pushup and switch sides.
5.  Wide Armed Push-Ups
These ones are pretty standard.  Make a T shape with your arms, bend your elbows in and do your pushups this width apart.
6.  Tri Push- Ups
Put your hands at your sides and then bend your elbows and do your push ups there.
7.  Side to Side Push-Ups
Make your T shape again but this time only bend one arm. Shift your weight over to the opposite side and bend the opposite elbow and straighten the other.
8. Finger Tip Push-Ups
Try and do a regular pushup only on your finger tips.  Yeah right.  I can only do this on the sand.
9. Knuckles Push-Ups
Cake walk.  Do pushups on your fists.
10.  Clap Push-Ups
Pushup, jump with your hands, clap and catch yourself before you smack your head on the floor.

THE END.

NOTE: I can only do them in sixes at the end of my work out... and no knuckles push-ups.  Those hurt my fingers.

heart YOU.

I got an email from CorePower Yoga today addressed to:

Kelley,

Before you go hibernate under a heap of blankets harboring pints of Ben & Jerry's because you despise the month of February and all things love, hear us out. You have to love yourself before you can properly love others. True love for oneself is detached from ego; it's about compassion and reminding yourself that "I am okay." It's about not being too hard on you and accepting the present moments for what they are, then moving on. If you're down in the dumps because you have no one to share your love with this February 14th, remember that you can always love your self.


Isn't that funny?  I like it... but fortunately for myself I'll be able to hibernate under a heap of blankets with my 2nd half instead of a half pint this February.  It will be our 2nd Valentines day together... hopefully it will be better than the last one.  Last year I went running in the morning and sprained my ankle so bad that all I could do was sit down and cry and some really nice man picked me up in his van and drove me down the block to my house.  Don't worry though it was a day to remember Robbie definitely delivered and we had one of the funniest days of our hawaii experience together over a pancake breakfast with Poppy and Blakie and their...love interests of the moment.

DATING ROBBIE HARMON

I remember when I first met Rob.  He was only 14 and I thought he was this surf god.  Somehow the stars aligned and right after the summer we met, we ended up being in the same English class our freshman year.  I remember staring at Rob's profile in class while he probably was doodling epic waves on his note pad.  Who would have ever thought that we would actually get married?
Recently Rob's been in LA taking an EMT class for just 3 weeks.  I've been in Santa Barbara spending time with my family.  We see each other on weekends.  Although we've been married for a few months, it almost feels like we are dating again.
I guess I really like Robbie Harmon.  I can't wait to see him tomorrow.  I guess that means I'm in love.  Yeah, I admit it.  I stared at him in English class when we were 14-- Confession ten years later. - Kel

CONGRATS SIMON!

Robbie & I were finally in town to be able to see the Rincon Classic with SB locals like Tom Curren and our favorite, Simon Murdoch.  I still think Simon should enroll at BYU-Hawaii... :)  Congrats on winning all of your heats in Men's & Pro.

COLD WATER CALIFORNIA